Why Numbing with Porn Feels Easier - and How it's Costing Our Kids

Dear Friends,

We are raising a generation taught to scroll past pain.

In a world wired for instant gratification, teens and young adults have endless ways to avoid discomfort. At the swipe of a screen, they can escape awkward emotions, dodge rejection, or numb the ache of loneliness. It’s no surprise that many turn to pornography—not because of uncontrollable lust, but because it feels like an easy way to avoid feelings they were never taught to face.

Let’s be honest:

Pornography isn’t just a lust issue.

It’s often a heart issue. An emotional issue. A coping issue.

When a young person doesn’t know how to sit with sadness, overcome rejection, or process fear, they reach for whatever promises quick relief - a dopamine rush. Pornography becomes the counterfeit comfort they use to bypass hard emotions. But every “escape” leaves them emptier, more isolated, and further from the real intimacy they were made for.

Why Emotional Avoidance Fuels Porn Consumption:

• Ignored Emotions — When feelings like sadness, boredom, fear, or anger aren’t processed, they pile up under the surface.

• Shame Cycle — Unresolved pain often festers into self-condemnation, making vulnerability feel dangerous.

• Numbing Becomes Normal — Emotional avoidance trains the brain to crave distraction and resist healthy connection.

• Porn Feels “Safe” — It offers a false sense of control, connection, and comfort—without the risk of real relationship.

They don’t just need accountability software. They need healing. They need presence. They need Jesus.

The Solution: Abiding in Christ, Not Avoiding by Coping

Jesus invites us into a daily relationship, not just for sin management—but for soul restoration.

“Abide in Me, and I in you... apart from Me you can do nothing.” – John 15:4–5

When youth begin to abide in Christ—moment by moment—they discover a safe place to feel, to process, and to be seen. The emotional needs driving them toward pornography can begin to be met through intimacy with a loving Savior, not artificial stimulation.

Practical Activities to Help Youth Connect Emotionally with Jesus:

1. Emotion Mapping with Scripture (Weekly Practice)

Invite youth to write down what they’re feeling daily and pair each feeling with a Psalm or story of Jesus where He felt something similar. This shows them that God feels too—and He can meet them in it.

• Example: Feeling lonely? → Read Psalm 142

• Feeling rejected? → Reflect on Isaiah 53:3

2. Feel & Talk Walks (Sensory & Spiritual Activity)

Have them go on a 10-minute silent walk, naming their emotions out loud and ending with a short prayer inviting Jesus into what they’re feeling. Nature + honesty + presence is a powerful antidote to numbness.

3. The “Pause Before I Click” Habit (Mindfulness Tool)

Teach students to stop, breathe, and pray one simple prayer before acting on temptation:

"Jesus, what do I really need right now?"

They can even write it on a post-it or phone lock screen.

4. The 3x5 Truth Card Habit (Daily Identity Reminder)

Have them create cards with truths like:

• “I’m seen.”

• “I’m not alone.”

• “My body is not broken.”

• When emotions rise, they flip through truth—not open a screen.

Emotional Awareness + Spiritual Attachment = Wholeness

When we teach young people to feel in the presence of God, we disarm the lie that porn (or any addiction) is their only escape. And we begin restoring what the enemy tried to steal: their ability to be fully human—and fully loved—in Jesus.

This generation doesn’t need more shame. They need shepherding. Let’s be leaders who help them confront their emotions, not avoid them. Who teach them how to sit in discomfort and invite Jesus into the storm.

In the next email, we’ll tackle Loneliness and Attachment Hunger—and how pornography masks a deeper need for secure, godly connection.

Until then, may the God of all comfort guide your hands and your hearts.

Aloha Pumehana,

The Explicit Movement ‘Ohana