When Pain Becomes a Prison

Aloha Friends,

This is our second-to-last email in this series, addressing possible roots of porn addiction and reminding us that intimacy with the Lord is always the best antidote. We hope it has been a blessing to you, your family, and your ministry.

We live in a world where emotional wounds run deep and early. Abuse, abandonment, bullying, family instability, performance pressure and even silence in the face of suffering, these shape the inner world of a young person. Trauma and unresolved pain are not just emotional burdens; they become spiritual openings for false comforts.

And one of the most accessible, numbing comforts for today’s generation is pornography.

Why Trauma Fuels Porn Use

Porn offers a momentary escape from deep pain. It distracts, soothes, and simulates intimacy when trust has been shattered. For many youth, it’s not just about lust, it’s about relief. But like all false refuges, it overpromises and underdelivers, leaving shame in its place and reinforcing the very wounds it was supposed to numb.

Behind that screen, there is often a soul saying:

• “I need to feel something good, even if it's fake.”

• "I can’t handle what I’m really feeling.”

• “At least here, no one can hurt me.”

But Jesus came not to numb our pain, but to heal it.

He is our Wonderful Counselor, our Man of Sorrows, and our Prince of Peace. He not only understands pain - He bore it, redeemed it, and offers us something far greater: Himself.

If we want to help young people overcome pornography, we must offer more than rules, we must offer relationship. Abiding in Jesus is the pathway out of trauma-driven behaviors. He doesn’t just want to fix them; He wants to be with them. He is not intimidated by pain. He is drawn to it.

When young people begin to abide in Jesus:

• They stop running and start resting.

• They begin exchanging lies for truth.

• They learn to bring their wounds to a Healer, not a screen.

Practical Activities to Help Young People Abide & Heal:

1. Lament and Let Go

• Read a Psalm of lament (e.g., Psalm 13 or 42).

• Let them write their own lament to God, expressing pain honestly without shame.

• Teach them how to end with trust: “But I will trust in Your unfailing love…”

2. Create a Comfort Corner with Jesus

• Encourage them to create a physical or mental space where they go to abide, not escape.

• Include music, verses, or journals—something to center them in Christ.

• Teach them to turn there before the temptation, not after.

3. Anchor Rhythms” of Safety

• Help teens create daily rituals that foster safety and connection.

• Morning: speak one affirmation rooted in Scripture.

• Afternoon: a 2-minute check-in prayer (“Jesus, I give you my stress”).

• Evening: gratitude journaling of 3 moments they felt seen or loved.

Porn is not just a habit to be broken—it is often a symptom of deeper heart wounds. The solution is not just better filters or behavior modification, but deeper fellowship with the God who heals.

We can disciple this generation out of pornography by discipling them into trust, truth, and intimacy with Jesus.

Keep pressing in. Keep listening. Keep pointing them to the One who was wounded for their healing.

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” –Psalm 147:3

Sincerely,

The Explicit Movement ‘Ohana