Self-Control Is Not Willpower—It’s Spirit-Power

Aloha Friends,

Compulsion isn’t a character flaw—it’s a symptom of disconnection from God.

Behind every late-night click or compulsive scroll lies something deeper than curiosity—it’s a cry for comfort, a search for control, or an escape from emotions that feel too heavy to carry. For many young people, pornography isn’t just a “bad habit”; it’s become an emotional reflex—an automatic response to boredom, stress, rejection, or pain.

This is what Scripture calls life without self-control:

"Like a city broken into and left without walls is a man who lacks self-control." - Proverbs 25:28

But here’s the good news: self-control is not about grit or willpower—it’s a fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22–23). That means freedom is not found in trying harder but in staying closer—to Jesus.

Here’s the truth: compulsive behavior is often an attempt to fill a void—to regulate emotions, distract from pain, or manufacture pleasure when life feels dull or disconnected. But when we abide in Christ, the compulsive need begins to lose its grip. Why? Because abiding creates connection. And connection replaces compulsion.

How to Help Young People Break Free from Compulsion

1. Reframe Self-Control as Spirit-Control

Teach them that self-control isn't about trying harder—it's about trusting deeper. The more we surrender to the Spirit, the more our desires are transformed.

“For the grace of God… teaches us to say ‘No’ to ungodliness…”

—Titus 2:11–12

2. Expose the Automatic Lies

Every compulsion is tied to a lie—“I can’t stop,” “I need this,” “God won’t help me,” or “This will make me feel better.” Helping young people identify the lie gives you the power to replace it.

3. Invite Jesus into the Moment of Weakness

The moment they feel the urge to turn to porn is actually the moment Jesus wants to meet them. That’s the intersection of temptation and intimacy. Teach them how to pause, breathe, and invite Jesus into the urge—not just resist it.

Practical Activities for Discipling the Heart

1) “Stop & Abide” Prayer Rhythm

Teach them to stop at three points during the day (morning, midday, and evening) for just 60 seconds to say:

“Jesus, I remain in You. I invite You into this moment. I trust You to help me walk in purity.”

2) Meditative Scripture Routine

Encourage them to meditate on one verse daily about purity, self-control, or renewal of the mind. For example:

• Romans 12:2 – Renewal of the mind

• Psalm 119:9 – Keeping pure through the Word

• 1 Corinthians 10:13 – Escape from temptation

3) Weekly “Temptation Talk”

In small groups or mentoring settings, create a shame-free space where youth can:

• Reflect on moments they felt pulled to pornography

• Share what they did or didn’t do

• Encourage one another in truth and accountability

A Culture of Abiding Is Our Best Defense

A generation raised on instant gratification must be discipled into holy endurance. The antidote to compulsion isn’t just accountability—it’s intimacy. As we help youth abide in Jesus daily, moment by moment, they begin to realize they don’t need porn to cope, distract, or feel alive.

"I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in Me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing." - John 15:5

Let’s raise up a generation that walks in spiritual authority—not through shame or fear, but through deep connection to the One who is pure, patient, and powerful enough to break every chain.

With our deepest Aloha,

The Explicit Movement ‘Ohana