Groomers know how to exploit a lonely heart.

Aloha Friends,

Did you know that loneliness and isolation have become such a serious public health issue that the U.S. Surgeon General has called it an epidemic? (Click here to read more)

I would have never known if I had not looked it up myself. In that advisory, researchers explain that chronic loneliness is linked to increased risks of cardiovascular disease, dementia, depression, and premature death. Some studies even suggest that the physical impact of prolonged loneliness is comparable to smoking fifteen cigarettes a day.

Loneliness is described as perceived social isolation. That means a person can be surrounded by people and still feel profoundly alone. You can attend school, go to church, live in a full household, or have thousands of online followers and still feel unseen and disconnected.

Friends, I must tell you that we would not have started this journey of digging into the roots of risky sexual behaviors and identity struggles like loneliness if the Lord had not prompted Michele to create Brave & Beautiful. As we began researching how groomers lure young people into sex trafficking, we noticed something important. Many of the unmet needs in victims’ lives are the same unmet needs present in people struggling with pornography, sexual addiction, and other sexually risky behaviors.

Underneath the layers, we often find the same wounds. A desire to feel loved. A longing to feel safe. A need to belong somewhere. A hunger to feel seen and valued. Groomers will exploit these needs through tactics like love-bombing, manipulation and gaslighting.

Loneliness does not always look like sadness. Sometimes it looks like searching for attention online. Sometimes it looks like jumping from relationship to relationship. Sometimes it looks like staying in unhealthy situations because being alone feels worse. Sometimes it looks like pornography use, fantasy, or risky sexual decisions that promise comfort but ultimately deepen shame and isolation.

The truth is that many people are not primarily looking for sex. They are looking for connection. They want reassurance that they matter to someone. They want relief from the ache of feeling invisible or unwanted.

This is why understanding loneliness matters. If we only address behaviors without addressing the deeper hunger driving them, the cycle continues. Shame increases, secrecy grows, and people become even more isolated.

Jesus consistently moved toward people who were isolated and rejected. He saw beyond behavior to the deeper need. When He spoke with the Samaritan woman, He did not simply confront her past relationships. He offered her living water, something that would satisfy the deeper thirst in her soul.

He continues to offer us this water today in the form of His Word, prayer and an abiding intimacy (John 15).

Belonging begins when people experience being known without being rejected. And this kind of belonging does not magically appear. It must be cultivated in families, friendships, and church communities.

Communion with the Lord must become the foundation for every other relationship. Human connection is vital, but even the best relationships cannot fully heal loneliness. Only God can meet us in the deepest places of our hearts and remind us that we are seen, known, and loved.

If loneliness has been part of your story, please know you are not alone. God sees you, and healing is possible. Together, we will continue learning how to move from isolation into belonging, one step at a time.

How can you begin to cultivate spaces for the lonely to find belonging? The table is a great place to start. We encourage you to share a meal at a table this week.

May His Kingdom come, on earth as it is in heaven.

Sincerely,

Explicit Movement