Chivalry is alive and well - and important!
The Lord made it clear to me – chivalry is on His heart!
What do I mean?
Guys – husbands included, listen up!
Girls and Women, listen up!
About a week and a half ago, God was clearly speaking BIG TIME to me – (all in one day) about this. Now, this is NOT to force anything upon you guys, but I hope you will catch the heart of God in this!
So, this particular day happened right after my daughter, who now lives in Texas, was gushing to me on the phone about how a 13-year-old son of a friend opened the passenger door of the truck she was in, AND extended his hand to help her out of the vehicle. This was the first time she was ever treated this way by a gentleman – let alone a young teen boy! She said his dad taught him this. My daughter felt so honored… and special!
On March 11, the Explicit Movement intercessory team, Twila and John Harrison, and my husband Rob and I, went to brunch. We were to celebrate the publishing of Explicit Movement’s Brave & Beautiful journey books. (Twila built and manages our Brave & Beautiful website and helps with PR. Twila and John were visiting Hawaii from CA, and it was Twila’s brilliant idea to celebrate the publishing of Brave & Beautiful. *Read my blog a few weeks ago on Celebration for background).
My husband and I first went to the hotel to pick up Twila and John for the brunch. Rob parked in the turnabout by the front lobby. After our greetings outside of the car, Twila went into the back seat. I then hopped back into the passenger seat and was looking in the driver’s direction, when I realized I had a hard time closing my door.
Twila exclaimed, “Michele! John wants to close the door for you!” I then looked to my right, and there John was, holding my door’s handle! I exclaimed “OH! Thank you!” John then closed my door.
Now I must say…I don’t recall any man ever doing that for me! I live in Hawaii in a local culture where that is not common, and my father-in-law, being very Japanese in culture, never modeled such actions for Rob.
When we arrived at the restaurant, John hopped out, and quickly opened my passenger door for me! As we walked to the restaurant, I shared, “John! I feel so honored! Who taught you to do that with the car door?”
He replied, “My father did.”
I then shared, “There is just one other father I know of – Pastor Cal Chinen, who told his daughter when she started dating, that if her date did not open her car door, she is NOT to date him! That impressed me!”
John replied, “That is the same thing I told my daughters.”
Twila mentioned that all the women in their family are well trained to wait in the car until John or another male family member opens the car door for them.
After our brunch, (which was a divine time) when we were getting in the car to go back to the hotel to drop Twila and John off – once again John opened my car door and closed it!
Now mind you….my husband Rob was quietly observing all of this!
Later that same day, I had a work meeting at Starbucks with Pastor Dominic who I never met before, to discuss Explicit Movement. After our meeting, we said our goodbyes, but we were apparently parked near each other, so we continued chatting as we walked to our cars. He walked me to my car, I beeped my car key fob to unlock the door, and Pastor Dominic beat me to it and opened my driver door for me!
After I sat down in the driver’s seat, I asked him, “Pastor Dominic! You are so polite and quite a gentleman! WHO taught you to do this with the car door?”
He replied, “My father taught me.”
So I know this was NOT a coincidence!
I went home and asked my 67-year-old Japanese husband, if from now on, he could open the car door for me.
GUESS WHAT!! He said, “Ok.”
WHOA GOD. I was shocked that he was willing after 40 years of knowing him! My heart was warmed that he was willing! It is never too late folks!
The next day Sunday, Rob and I were going to the movies to see Jesus Revolution. I waited outside the car passenger door…he opened it. When we got to the movie parking lot, Rob walked around and opened the door for me! Thus, the start of a new normal for us as a couple. I love Rob more for being so teachable!!!
Now! I know some of you women readers may think, “Well, I can open my OWN door.” And of course, those of you young moms and dads – it is understandable that with young children in tow and all those car seats to unbuckle, that this car door action may not be practical….BUT, husbands, how about opening the car door for your wife when on dates alone with her? Just something I propose to consider!
This is not meant to be legalistic! It’s the heart of honoring. Literally, I felt like Rob was treating me a royal queen – which, interestingly, made me motivated to look for ways to bless him back and treat him like a king! What I am talking about is honoring.
So men, ask the Holy Spirit how you can honor girls and women more – even if that is not how you were taught, because I think many of us, if not most of us women, love to be treated with honor and care.
I know God was speaking this to me about this with SO much repetition!
Explicit Movement cares about giving dating tips, marriage tips, and friendship tips – and this is one I humbly propose to you! Read below for some chivalry tips/ideas!
Some Common CHIVALRY TIPS
Open doors for her.
Get out of the car when picking up your date and open her car door.
Retrieve dropped items.
Offer your hand in situations when she could fall – like walking up steep stairs for example.
Offer your jacket if it is cold if she doesn’t have outerwear.
Walk on the outside (streetside) when walking on a sidewalk.
Give up your seat for a woman or girl when on public transportation and there are no other seats available.
Help put on her coat/jacket.
When out with your friends/acquaintances, introduce her so she feels comfortable.
When on a date, walk her to the door when dropping her off.
Make sure she is safe. Be her protector.
If it is pouring rain, do what you can to keep her dry.
Speak respectfully and be a good listener.
If dating, protect her purity.