As we discussed last week, emotional manipulation is very common in our world. So what do we do if we realize we ourselves are the culprits?
Have you ever struggled with jealousy?
Have you ever felt afraid – and therefore, felt the need to be in control?
Such emotions are common human struggles. When we feel such emotions, we can easily try to control situations and control people using manipulation. Recognizing manipulative behaviors in yourself can be very humbling, however, it is such an important step toward building healthy, positive relationships.
Here are some tips from our team member Joshua Kaina on how can learn to overcome the desire to control others:
1) Be honest with yourself. Ask yourself tough questions, such as:
Have I ever lied to get what I want? Have I ever made someone feel guilty so they would do what I wanted?
2) Check your heart motivation. Are you trying to control situations out of fear, insecurity, or a desire for power? Are you trying to force someone to like you because you are afraid of rejection?
3) Be a good listener. Give your full attention to others when they speak. Be genuinely interested in their thoughts and feelings. Avoid interrupting. Don’t be quick to ignore their opinions.
4) Respect Boundaries. Avoid pressuring or forcing others into doing things they do not want to do or are uncomfortable with. Respecting the personal boundaries of others is important in any relationship.
" Let what you say be simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything more than this comes from evil."
- Matthew 5:37
We all have areas where we need to grow. Being willing to be honest with yourself and seek to change is so worth it!