Truth With Love

Dear Friends,

Last week, we talked about the "protective pride" that often forms around wounded identities. We explored how behavior is often a shield, and how trust is a door through which healing walks.

Jesus said in Matthew 10:16, "Behold, I am sending you out as sheep among wolves. So be wise as serpents and innocent as doves." What a strange yet powerful combination: the shrewdness of a serpent and the purity of a dove.

When it comes to confronting pride—especially in those wrestling with identity—we cannot afford to be reckless with truth, nor passive with grace.

Here’s what I’ve learned:

Wisdom means asking the deeper questions. It’s discerning what’s underneath the label, the lifestyle, the armor.

Gentleness means approaching that place with tenderness—not accusation.

If someone had thrown truth at me without compassion, I would’ve run. And I did, for a while. But it was the gentle love of Jesus, paired with Spirit-led truth, that undid the stronghold and exposed the wound.

Sometimes wisdom looks like silence until the Spirit gives you the green light to speak. Other times, it looks like asking: “Can you tell me what that means to you?” instead of “That’s wrong and you need to repent.”

My parents only told me (Joshua) once, when I came out at 21, that my choice to live as a homosexual had consequences. They also knew, that I was already well versed on what those consquences were. They DID NOT remind me throughout the decade that followed. They were wise but they were not passive. They did not use fear, control or manipulation to make me conform.

Where the Spirit of the Lord is - there is liberty, NOT manipulation. Please remember that.

Manipulation and control has been a tool that many have tried to use - because of fear - to get loved ones to change. Fear just leads to more bondage, more protective measures and a hardened heart. I have had friends who were placed in unbiblcal "conversion therapies" in the 90's who have been deeply scarred by fear and manipulative tactics.

My parents took to their prayer closet and stood on the Word of God. Because they looked to Jesus for answers, they gained Spirit-led wisdom, insight and words of knowledge that my dad would drop on me from time to time. Never a reminder of my sin and it's consequences but of God's truth and who He made me to be. They didn't know what they were doing. They did not take a class or attend a conference. None of that existed where we lived at that time.

They sought His face and His word. With gentleness, Holy Spirit planted seeds through my parents and even strangers who would give me a word or encouragement on my prodigal journey.

Truth without love may win the argument, but love with truth transforms the heart. Be wise. Be gentle.

Reflection Questions for Parents & Leaders:

• Am I confronting with more zeal than wisdom?

• Have I cultivated a relationship where truth can be received?

• Do my words sound more like Jesus—or just my own discomfort?

With grace and truth,

Explicit Movement Ohana